Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015 | GENERAL

1. Spring - "The Game Played Right by Emarosa"

"The rain didn't end
until clouds parted slowly
and summer began."

In terms of how I remember spring and what I wrote in my journal (I'm considering spring to be from January - April), I had a pretty rough spring. The beginning of the year was a bit off kilter for me. I had a somewhat rough time adjusting to taking six classes during the spring semester and everything was just weird in my personal and school life. That is also probably the only explanation I can give to the complete lack of blog posts during that time.

If you listen to the song and see the photo I used that's kind of the reflection I wanted to give. The song I chose to represent this season is from a band one of my friends introduced me to in high school. I think it really captures the angst I was feeling in the spring.

I was kind of reinvigorated when I finished school in May (graduated with my Associate's degree holy smokes how did that happen?!) and summer began. I tried to let go of all the baggage from the beginning of the year and start fresh.

2. Summer - "Landslide" (LIVE) by Fleetwood Mac

"A distance in time,
she takes the reigns of the horse
and learns to let go."

What do I remember about the summer? It was short. And reflective. Nothing too crazy. I was almost done with a rough spring. I was ready for a change. I was looking back on the last year. How much had I changed since the summer of the previous year before? There was almost a calm after the storm but everything was still murky and cloudy. There was also a lot of trying to return to normalcy.

I don't actually have as many journal pages from the summer as I hoped I would to give me a better sense of what happened and what I did.  (I'm considering summer from May - August). It was also my 20th birthday that June and I was trying to figure out what it felt like to no longer be a teenager (although nothing really drastically changed, everything kind of had...). Also learning to let go of things and move on.

Summer was also when I decided that I would be putting more of a concerted effort into my blog. I felt like I was done being unhappy with unpleasant circumstances and ready to take the reigns in my life. I was really preparing to go my own way, emotionally with my personal life and professionally with my blog.

3. Autumn - "Bridges" by BROODS

"Rays of a new sun,
Sight of a bloom leads to the
End of an era."

If had to describe Autumn with a single word it would probably be 'change'.

This is also when I personally started to realize how much I've changed. My work ethic was a little better from last semester and I changed my style a little bit too.

Autumn has always been my favorite season. I think by the time September rolled around I was ready for...something. I definitely have a lot of journal pages from the fall season (which I'm considering from September - November). But overall what did I learn during this season? I guess how to adjust with movement and change.

I definitely took time out at the beginning of the season to write out a little list of things I wanted for myself and I'm glad to say I actually worked towards some of them these past couple of months. Like trusting myself and my decisions and forgiving myself for not knowing better about certain situations in the past.

Although there were some tumultuous, emotional times from this fall, I'd like to think the good outweighed the bad.

4. Winter - "Back To You" by Twin Forks

"She's come to the end,
a rough road 'round the bend pulls
her back from the edge."

Well, here we are at the end of December. The winter has been a little cold but not too bad.

I spent this winter working hard, trying to finish strong with schoolwork and still adjusting to some major changes in my personal life. Also doing a lot of dreaming.

This was also the time I realized that I'm going to start making goals and plans for the new year. Maybe that's what went wrong with the beginning of the year. I wasn't really excited because I didn't have anything planned. Now I'm moving more into the planning and goal setting state of mind. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish in 2016 and I'm ready for it.

I think in the winter I've come to know myself more, which is kind of a relief. I refuse to spend 2016 feeling like I'm wandering aimlessly in the dark. In the winter I found a new light, a new hope, and a new direction in working to solidify my intentions for the new year.


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